In my post, Let’s Bond Already – Creating Attachment with an Adopted Child, I explain each of these points in more detail and give ideas on how to use this technique with older children. It challenges them to go further and to develop who they are…” I love every point in this statement about Floortime. “Floortime meets children where they are and builds upon their strengths and abilities through interacting and creating a warm relationship. Meeting your child where they are can be done through Floortime, which is explained further at The Greenspan Floortime Approach. You can hold him and rock him to help meet his need at that three-year-old level. Your ten-year-old may exhibit behaviors of a three-year-old, so emotionally you would meet him where he needs it. His emotional state may not be that of a ten-year-old, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give him educational opportunities. Your child may be very smart and able to do seventh grade algebra at age ten, so meet him where he is academically. You may have behaviors that range from infantile to age appropriate.Įven though there are gaps between your child’s emotional, mental, physical, and chronological age, you can still meet them where they are in each area. If a child is six-years-old, you can’t expect their emotional state to be equal to their age. It doesn’t mean your child can’t hear you, understand how you feel, or that they aren’t aware of the world around them.)īecause of trauma, your child’s age will not determine their abilities in any area. (If you’re a frequent reader here, you’re tired of hearing this – the size of their brain doesn’t mean it can’t grow, learn, and excel. Bruce Perry and his studies) shows how significantly smaller the size of the traumatized child’s brain is versus the child who wasn’t traumatized. Talia was expecting Evan’s emotional age to be in line with his chronological age, and that won’t happen when a child’s been neglected, abused, and traumatized. Talia was noticing the gap between Evan’s emotional age and his chronological age. There were battles with that too, but nothing like these setbacks when Evan didn’t feel he was in charge. Hadn’t he bonded yet? Why was it all taking so long?Įvan did well in school, he’d caught up so quickly because they’d worked with him. Evan joined their family through adoption nine months ago and she’d expected him to grow out of this stage, especially with the constant love they all showed him, the toys, bed, nice room, good food, sport activities, and so much more.
She couldn’t believe he was behaving this way, he was eight-years-old and acting worse than a toddler, the rages were catastrophic. His mom, Talia, looked out the window, sure her neighbors could hear everything and imagined what they were thinking. Evan lay in his room, screaming and pounding his fists on the floor, his feet slammed against his door.
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